Tribute to Sandy Hook Elementry School in Newtown CT.

I was at work, away from my own angel, when I heard the horrible shocking news. I was standing at the bar when our manager came up behind me and mentioned it on one of the screens. My heart sank immediately. I was devastated, hurt, and in complete shock. I couldn't take a moment to just to watch, I had to keep on with my work and continue on only catching bits and pieces as my day progressed. It wasn't until I got home that I was able to read about all the 26 precious lives that were taken that day.

My heart aches for these parents and families. I cannot imagine a single day without my own precious angel, but to have to live knowing that he will never be home again is terrifying. I actually dreamed later that weekend he was gone, only to wake up in sadness and panic. Luckily my nightmare was just that, a nightmare. For the parents of all these angels and families of the teachers who gave their lives for their students, this was no dream. This was reality. I'm not going to take an entire blog to rant on about gun control, or separation of church and state and what not. I'm going to take a few minutes to express the deep sorrow that I feel for these families and this community as a whole.

After hearing of this tragic news I could only hold my baby all that much more tighter and mourn for those who would be going to bed with out their heart that horrible night. These people need peace in their hears now more than ever. Though no one will ever understand or fully know why that monster did what he did, but I'm making it my mission to not remember his name or to let my child ever remember his name. He's not worthy of that. I want to remember these angels and the teachers/grown-ups who gave their life or lost it in this tragedy. I think they deserve the recognition and the air time and the proper mention in any and all blogs/newspaper/magazine. These are the people who deserve to be plastered all over the internet. And as a blogger I hope this is one blog that is read, I hope this is a blog that these parents might read and pass along. I hope they read it and know that I ache for them and they are always in my mind and prayers. Nothing else can be said to express my heartache for them. And I hope one day they find peace, and can remember the wonderful precious moments they had with their angel, as I cherish mine ever more now.

The mobile Binky.

It's been an interesting couple weeks. Not only is Binky over his stomach flu he's CRAWLING! This kid is all over the place, and sitting in a jumperoo or exersaucer is a big no no! It's simply not cool or fun enough. This kid is totally fascinated by the fact that he can get where he wants with out any help of mommy and daddy. Oh my goodness, he's picked up this crawling thing so fast, he literally crawls so fast if you look away you're in trouble!

In other news in the "A" house we recently put up our Christmas tree and Binky enjoyed it!! The hubs and I worked our butts off while our sweet angel tried his hardest to get into the tree, but after an hour and a half we had it up and ready. =] After inspecting that he could pull the branches and shake it til something fell off was just amazing to him. It was a great moment. I swear this kid never finds anything he doesn't find amazing. He's just wonderful in that aspect, and probably entirely too intelligent for his age. And I'm sure by the time he's four he's going to get away with murder.

We got all of Binky's stuff for xmas home today. It was horribly hard to get his presents in the house and not give them to him. I know he's going to be a completely happy little guy! I can't wait to see him play with all of his toys. It's going to be magical. How were your kids first xmas extra special? We're trying to start some new traditions, shoot me some messages on how your family had it's first traditions started.

Happy Xmas from Baby Binky!!!!

Binky's Thanksgiving.

Boy was it interesting. It was Binky's first trip to the ER and the most horrible experience I've had as a mother. I hope to never have to repeat something like that ever again.

It all started Monday, as I posted in my previous post we had changed Binks formula. Well, by Wednesday it was so bad I couldn't take it any more. He hadn't ate a bottle in days and there was diarrhea and vomit everywhere. So at 11 with vomit all over me we took Binky to the ER. OH MY GOD! We waited forever, then finally getting back we had to wait another FOREVER. They took xrays of his tummy, and gave him some pedialite. Which he kept down finally! After the xrays the dr wanted some blood samples to run a few tests. I asked the nurses to heel prick him, boy he didn't like that. They weren't able to get hardly any blood from his heel. So then they tried to stick his arm. After twice this mom said no way. So they went to the heel again. I have never felt so horrible in my life, they tried for 30 minutes to get enough blood, after my precious baby laid there on the hospital bed being held down screaming I couldn't take it anymore. I think I cried as much as he did. I would not allow them to try again. After consoling my poor angel the Dr came back and told us he thought it was a virus and pretty much sent us home telling us to go to the Children's hospital if it doesn't stop, because their hospital wasn't equipped to handle children, (eye rolling I know).

So after thanksgiving, which I cooked by myself and turned out amazing, Binky hadn't eating anything still, and after he threw up all over my face we were headed to the hospital again, this time the Pediatric Hospital. My poor baby, his diaper rash was awful from the diarrhea and he did not approve of another hospital visit. This time he was treated with much better care and in my opinion a much better dr. They kept him for a couple of hours to monitor him, after a couple pedialite bottles he was feeling a bit better. This was the day he finally quit throwing up!! After a week I was getting terrified. They gave him some kind of medicine for his tummy and a strictly pedialite diet and he finally started feeling better about sunday!

I hope you other mom's never have to go through that, it's miserable to watch your happy bouncy baby just lay around and not play and just puke everywhere. I don't think I can handle something like that again with him as an infant. Let's just hope that he stays well. Here's to Binky's health.

Poor sick Binky. =[

The ailments of Binky.

Poor poor poor binky. I swear, this kid is sick. I will NEVER EVER EVER change his formula again. We went a cheaper route and got a big can of Parent's Choice (walmart brand) formula. We compared ingredients and vitamins and there was minimal difference. (To the naked eye) So we went ahead and got it. The first bottle was fine, and the second, and possibly even the third. But the next day Binky was not. He was in the bed with me and I woke up and just smiled at his precious sleeping face, only to be greeted with projectile vomit. He covered himself, me, and the bed in vomit, this poor kid had it coming out of his nose.

I freaked out and yelled for the hubs to help me, we got binks and myself cleaned up and continued on about our day. Through out the day Binky wouldn't eat, a bottle, table food, baby food, anything. I thought maybe his teeth were hurting him. So the next day the vomiting was worse, accompanied by diarrhea. He threw a fit for about 45 minutes because his tummy hurt. I can assume any ways. So I went out and bought him his regular formula. Today was no different with his vomit and diarrhea, I want to see if a day of his regular formula will fix him up. He's been taking a sippy of water, so he doesn't get dehydrated, so I'm hoping he'll be ok. If he's not tomorrow it's off to the ER we go.

I've never seen a child throw up like he has, our house is becoming covered in milk smelling vomit. My clothes are stained, and I'm a hot mess. I'm terrified for my poor binky and just plain scared something is wrong. The hubs keeps reassuring me that it's probably his milk, but tomorrow is the longest I'll be able to hold out. I'm scared for him. I want him better.

How would you guys handle this?

This is my sick face mom, Imma puke in a minute.

Politics and all that jazz.

I've never been one for politics. I have never voted, ( Don't judge, I wanted to this election, but because we moved I wasn't able to register in my new state in time) and I have never cared enough to write a blog about it. I've never seen people I know get so worked up about an election either, until this year.

People I've known for years who've never expressed an opinion on our politicians are literally going insane over this years election. I myself am thankful that our president was re-elected. As a working white woman and mother I'm so thankful that I'm not going to be forced out of the work place and into the kitchen. I'm thankful that a non taxpayer for almost 15 years wasn't put into office to allow other HUGE companies to not pay taxes, and most of all I'm thankful that he will not have the ability to send a lot of our jobs overseas. This guy may have been pro-coal in his campaign, but the guy has already aided in shutting down a few himself.

But anyway, I'm ready that this election is over and done with. I've had about enough of these little pictures on facebook, and all these hateful rants of people bashing the Obama supporters, I'm just ready to go back to a peaceful, hating on other people, feed. I never knew that people were so passionate about who the leader of our country was. It's funny how no one cared until this particular election.

I'm just ready for Christmas. Binky is going to have a very good xmas. Lots of presents, lots of Batman. All I have left to get the little fart is some clothes. He needs some terribly. He's growing entirely too fast. I see walking in his future. Really close..

BTW this is the last and first post you'll probably ever see about my politics views. Promise.

Geez mom, I'm trying to watch the backyardigans here.

The house of runny noses, coughs, and head aches.

Here in the house of Amburgey we are all sick. Head colds all around. And sadly it started with Binky. The poor little guy woke up grumpy, feverish and full of snot. He only seemed to feel at his worst on the first day. Then the hubs woke up with it. He felt bad his first day, and binky was feeling a lot better. Then yesterday over night I woke up with a stuffy nose, sore throat, and the worst headache!

Being sick as a mom I don't get to lay around and just be sick, nope there's still a 7 month old to entertain, change, and feed. Luckily he can feed himself, a bottle any ways. And as of today a few snacks!! So aside from all the sickness going around here Binky has discovered how to self feed! Not the best of course but he's learning, and quickly I might add.

He's also discovered that yelling MA MA MA MA MA MA at me will get me to pick him up, sooooo..when he's done playing with a certain toy he'll scream until I get him up. What happened to that sweet baby who never cried or screamed. It's like he's developed stronger and bigger lungs over night. Maybe it's because I'm sick, but I just don't know..I think he's learning that screaming will get him something..which isn't good. He's getting too smart for his own good. And I'm afraid I have a baby genius on my hands. 

yep, in 2.5 seconds I'm going to scream at you and throw this sippy cup at you.

The war on sleep contiues.

Oh my Binky. He's on a whole new level with his sleeping now. Not only does he get up more in the night, he refuses to nap during the day. Today we literally just let him wear himself out. We put the little guy in his jumperoo and let him jump it out. He finally fell asleep in the jumperoo.

I just don't know what to do with him. I've never dealt with a child who refuses a nap, my nephew used to put himself to sleep, and at bed time, it was just time to sleep. I'm not one of these strong mom's who can let their child cry it out. He cries we get him. And just let him wear himself out. We just do the best we can. We're the parents that let our kid sleep with us, don't let him 'cry it out', or only feed him baby food. This kid gets table food.

I don't know how much longer he can continue to fight it, forever? It feels that way right now. The worst part is that when he's fighting a nap, he's so grumpy. He doesn't want ANYTHING. To play, to be held, to be put down. He just wants to cry. My heart hurts for this little angel. But I don't know what else to do. Any of you mom's have any suggestions?

He just doesn't want to sleep anywhere else but right here.

Chandler's Halloween!

The time had come, batman costume in tow and plastic pumpkin ready. We headed to trick or treat with my niece and nephew.

Only to be invited by snow and a stupid town schedule for trick or treating. Which did not include the ACTUAL halloween, but the following saturday. I swear I don't think I've ever been that aggravated and disappointed. Not only did my kid miss the sweet holiday, my precious baby nephew who loves to trick or treat, and me, didn't get to do it. I was devastated. I was so looking forward to three of my favorite kids (the other three were in NC) being together for two of their FIRST halloweens. It just just un-american to not trick or treat on halloween.

So other than being seen by family in his cute outfit, no one got to. But I think Binks had a great time, not only did he get to see his Auntie Sam and cousins, he got to chill with his Nana. He doesn't get to see the hubs' mom that often and when he does I believe he truly enjoys himself. He get's all the attention.

I cannot wait til next year. Binks will be walking around and probably even able to say "Trick or Treat". If that dumb town cancels halloween, or postpones ( can you hear my sarcasm?), again I swear I'll boycott that place.

 hey, I thought this was Halloween, not Christmas!

 I hope this "candy" tastes as good as my fingers.

This is my smile, geez.

Winter's first snow, thanks Sandy.

Well it appears that Sandy has unleashed her wrath and is in full swing. Living where we do it's not common for snow to hit us. And it still hasn't made an appearance. An appearance I am really sad we haven't seen. Back 'home' where my sister and mother in law live they've come in contact with some beautiful snow and I'm sad to say that Binks, the hubs, and I have missed out. I'm so sad that Binks doesn't get the chance to see some snow!!

But I'm afraid it's going to ruin his halloween. His FIRST halloween! I'm so sad about it! I just don't expect the snow to be gone, and him being a small little precious angel he cannot venture out in the snow to look cute and pretend to beg for some candy that he cannot eat.

I just know know if I will survive, he could care less I imagine, but this mom is absolutely devastated. Here's to hoping it warms a little tomorrow!

you mean I have to miss trick or treating?! And I carved this pumpkin for NOTHING!!!! Poor Binky.

The quick demise of the diaper bag, and almost my marriage.

There was recently an accident here on Barnett Drive. In a mad dash for making it to work on time the faithful and ever full batman diaper bag met its almost demise.

After the hubs fought with our crappy car seat for about five minutes and irritably removed himself from the car, he did not remove the bag from the pavement. So after climbing from the backseat to the front, all passengers tucked away neatly in the vehicle, the hubs put faithful Stella in reverse.

Now, before getting in the vehicle Chandler and I had been trying to get a cat to come close so we could pet it. The came about 3 feet from us and ran to the other side of the car. I never saw it again, so naturally when we heard a huge thump and snapping sound I thought the hubs ran over the poor creature. But after stopping we found an even more gruesome scene. The diaper bag had been a victim of an almost hit and run.

Jeez was this mom mad, and for no good reason other than the hubs getting frustrated with the car seat and me becoming frustrated with him. The one of the more exciting sides of marriage. =]

So angry and mortified I got out of the car to inspect the crime scene. It was a disaster, I'm surprised someone didn't call in reinforcements. Everything our kid needed at the babysitters was in that bag. All the formula the kid had, half a pack diapers, wipes, clothes and old faithful batman.  To add insult to injury a bottle of water was also in the bag. So, add a whole bottle of water and large container of formula, a nice little sticky paste was all over everything. It was horrible. Needless to say the hubs was late for work, and only half the container of formula was salvaged.

But after a good washing both batman and the diaper bag survived with out any long term injuries.

 

Such troopers. =]

you mean to tell me that batman almost kicked the bucket?!

Let's Carve that pumpkin.

Halloween is my favorite time of year. The weather is that perfect combination of cool and warm. The leaves are changing and everything just feels wonderful. This is Binky's first halloween/fall. So we decided to start a family tradition. We went to Fender's Farm. It was a corn maze and petting zoo, and for older kids it had a HUGE play area! It also offered several different family fun activities, but seeing how Binks is only 6 months old we only partook upon the stroller friendly maze and petting zoo. And of course the pumpkin patch!! Binky loved it. He loved the animals and the corn maze and the pumpkin patch. He especially loved the the little train ride that took us from the maze to the petting zoo and then to the pumpkin patch.

I swear this kid just loved it. And then the hubs and I had a huge blast as well. The corn maze it's self was absolutely fun. We only got lost a couple times. We decided that a trip to Fender's Farm would be our yearly tradition with Binks. I know I posted about the trip previously and posted a few pictures. So I'll get on with it.

After picking out the PERFECT pumpkin we finally went ahead and carved the damn thing. It was a blast. Binky absolutely loved it. I was terrified that the kid would instantly put all the guts and seeds in his mouth. I was actually pleased to note that I was wrong. The kid wanted to kiss the pumpkin. He wanted to shove his little chubby hands in the bowels of the orange ball and feel around. He would then look at his hands and be like "WTF!" This kid loved it. Of course I did most of the gutting and all of the carving. He felt like he was king of the pumpkin. Afterwards we took a picture of  Binks and his finished product and I could tell on that sweet angel face he was proud of his work.

The tradition of carving the pumpkin is going to be wonderful when he is actually old enough to partake on the fun! I hope this kid loves halloween and fall as much as I do. It's going to be amazingly wonderful when he picks out his own pumpkin. =]

 Can I just put it in my mouth?

 What's that in there?

 I'm going to kiss this pumpkin!

 HAHAHAH! Mom your legs are too white.

 I did this shit all by myself.

 Yep, I'm boss like that.

 =]

 Let me just get in there.

WTF is this?

The war on sleep.

I know I mentioned Binky not sleeping recently, but jeez. I swear this kid is determined to make me a zombie. And like I said before, only when it's my turn to get up with him does he decide to do this. And he's been fighting naps. I just don't know what to do with him. He's determined to let me know he loves his father more.

Last night not only did he get up an hour after I fell asleep, he woke up again three more times. And each time he only wanted to be held. At one point I considered 911. Because something had to be wrong with my sweet angel. But he finally fell asleep, right at the point I was on the verge of tears. Each wake up exhausts me more than the one before.

I just don't know when he'll decide to sleep thru the night again. Eventually I guess.

[Flash back picture] Remember those nights I would sleep through the night?! Yeah well I don't. And I'm only going to let you dream of them. =]

Halloween.

Until I became a mom I had no idea halloween was so expensive. Not only do you have to buy a costume, there's a bag or bucket to catch the treats in. I'm just lucky that I have a 6 month old instead of a 3-5 year old. Because then you'd have to buy a bigger, more expensive costume, and candy! Because if they don't get enough trick or treating you have to treat them yourself. I'm also lucky I don't have multiple kids, let me tell ya. I have a niece and nephew from my sister, and two nieces and a nephew from my sister in law. Me being the great auntie I strive to be decided to help my sister and purchase my nephew a costume as well. Jeezz let's just say that I give kudos to those two for having multiple children. And my in law has two big kids!

I was getting Binks (my nick name for Chandler) his costume today, and after getting his I ran to another store in the mall and they had a sale on jeans. And it's rare for me to find jeans that fit me at that price! But being responsible I had to not purchase them and wait til later. I told the cashier that I blame the store for making me feel bad, and that it was a bad idea to run a sale on clothing that close to halloween because mom's like myself that didn't get a costume in an orderly fashion have to make the decision of buying a halloween costume or jeans. Ahh, the joys of motherhood. I think she thought I was kidding, or totally creepy. Oh well, let's just hope they run the sale a little longer.

  Why can't I just go trick or treating like this? I don't need that damn Batman costume, crazy lady.

The Bree Van de Camps of the world.

When you aren't a mother you expect it to be easy. You look at all these other parents with crazy kids and think, "my kid will never act like that." and continue onward on your high horse. Then you become a mom, boyyyy are you wrong.

I've been a mother for six short months. I wouldn't take a single second back, but damn have I learned a lot. I had an excellent newborn. He slept a lot during the day and was only up two, maybe three times a night. He was an angel. He began sleeping thru the night at three months! Yes you read correctly, three months! He's absolutely perfect. HA! Til he becomes six months old and decides he's going to catch up on his newborn sleeping!!! Not only is my kid up three-five times a night, he ONLY does it on my nights. He thought he'd be cute and say "ma" first and reach for me first and just love me lots. Then he's like ha! I'm going to be nice to dad since I didn't say da first, I'm going to be a dick and only sleep thru the night on dad's night. -insert big baby grin here-

During the wonderful nights he slept completely and all his newborn nights when my husband and I would take turns waking up with his cuteness (after the breastfeeding of course). I was like, yeah I have no idea what these crazy haired, sleep deprived, delirious mom's are talking about. Being a mom is easy. HA! I'm getting my payback! This sweet angel of mine has decided to become the devil. He's going to be clingy and whiny and sleepless, ONLY when it's mom's turn. The hubs thinks I'm crazy, but I swear Chandler has it out for me. And it's because my body didn't make enough of the sweet milk his newborn self got accustomed to. 

Oh well. Maybe he'll give me a break. Otherwise some Nana's I know will be receiving a gift. The gift of a grandson. =]

   I'm smiling because I know it's your night mommy and I'm going to be up five times tonight

Hey these don't look anything like my piggies! And I'm just going to stick this hand in my mouth in five minutes after they've licked all over them. =]

That first smile.

After nine miserable months my little Channy Fanny is here! Though his due date wasn't til the 11th of April, he came on April 4th.

It all started at 6 am on that wonderful day. I had chosen to be induced, I was miserable and ready to hold my little man. After finally being hooked up to the monitors and getting an IV at 8 o'clock the Dr. came to break my water. After several hours of potocin I finally began to feel contractions. Boy are they nothing to shrug off. I was terrified of an epidural and strongly considered not getting one. And today I'm sorry I didn't pass on it. After almost an hour of the nurse trying to get me to quit shaking and moving so she could get the catheter into my back Dale was able to come back into the room and I was feeling a nice high. Though it quickly wore off and I was administered another dose. After several hours it was finally beginning to look like I was going to have a baby. At about 10ish it was finally time to push. Boy was I a nervous wreck. But the fun didn't end there.

After 45 minutes of pushing, and my epidural wearing off, the Dr decided that my little man wasn't coming out the old fashioned way. His heart rate was too steady and I just simply couldn't push any longer. So two terrified parents were prepped and taken to the operating room. Where my nerves took over my entire body. Luckily the anesthesia numbed me from the neck down, the only shaking body parts I had were my arms and head! But I had a great partner, not only did he go into the operating room with me, he held my hand the entire time. And after about 20 minutes at a wonderful 11:47 pm my little amazing boy was born! Not only did he have strong lungs, he was completely healthy. Except a little jaundice.

After a brief cleaning they brought him to us, Dale got to hold him first, for which I am still totally jealous. But after a wonderful first kiss, and a first kiss as parents from my love, I was given some nerve medication. Due to the fact I still couldn't quit shaking. And then I was out like a light. After however many hours, I can't remember, I was finally taken to my room and brought my little precious boy. The feeling of holding that little baby was an experience I can't even put into words. Not only did I feel love like I'd never felt before, but a warming sensation of complete satisfaction filled my very soul. Not only had we worked so hard for this moment, but we thought it would never come.

After three days in the hospital we were released to come home! Not only did my boobie baby get to come home, we didn't have any problems getting him there. It's been a month since he graced us with his wonderful presence, and every minute of it has been a true wonderful experience. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the entire world. =] 

Well, here's to another male.

Though it's been many months since I've updated this thing, it's never been far from my mind. Like many things my life has taken a turn in a direction I'm not too thrilled with, but the pregnancy is not included on this. While I was a struggling waitress before, I am now a struggling broke pregnant woman. Though I expect things will look up soon. If not someone please shoot me!

As the top of this entry indicates we found out on November 23rd that our little bundle of joy is in fact a boy. Though I had secret hopes of that prima ballerina, a rough little man will do too. He's already filled our hearts with so much joy and love, he doesn't even know how much we love him yet. Chandler, the name we picked out, will be so loved it will be ridiculous. He's our little miracle baby, and will forever remain so.

As our little life and love progress I'm sure I'll keep you updated. I need to blog more.